Yeah, future you, y'know, the one that says 'hindsight is a wonderful thing', that you.
I'm sending you some unconventional words of wisdom so listen up.
You like living a little dangerously (you still do that in the future btw), that's cool and I totally get it. Pushing boundaries; extending the five second rule, lifting a heavy tray out of the oven with just one oven mitt on, leaving the washing out to dry in Britain.
But you've been a bit fluky sometimes haven't you? You remember those heart in the mouth moments.
To paraphrase the legend that is Bill Bryson:
"...bears rarely attack. But here's the thing. Sometimes they do... If they want to eat you, they can... That doesn't happen often, but - and here is the absolutely salient point - once would be enough."
I've not gone off my rocker, I'll get to the relevance of the bears in a sec.
You see, you could use a little help in the safety department... Only a little, and it's a really easy thing for you to do.
"How?" I hear you cry across this slightly weird space/time continuum.
Simple... There are these lovely folk called Taggisar who've created a sticker with a QR code on it that can be scanned to quickly find your emergency medical and next of kin info in the event of a major boo-boo.
Get one, put all your deets in it as well as your favourite people's phone numbers and then stick it on a helmet or to the back of your phone, or on anything you carry with you, and then forget about it - it can then go to the part of your mind where the dates of the reigning British monarchs from the 1300's are stored, or you could tell all your friends about it... whichever.
"Why do I need this? Is it just another impulse purchase that I have drawers full of?"
Not this time. Taggisar is different...
Like travel insurance, it mightn't seem like the most exciting purchase... until you need it - and if you've already got it (and a Taggisar), marvellous, give yourself a pat on the back, you are officially awesome.
If you haven't, well... I guess you'll be walking around starkers after the travel company loses your suitcase on the way there.
If you do something silly like let yourself get nibbled on by a bear (see, I said the bears thing was relevant), slip on a banana skin Mario Kart style or step on a rake, then having a Taggisar will mean those who need to know can find out who you are, they can ring the people who need to know where you are and they can avoid hurting you with anything you might be allergic to. Great!
They can take care of you in the best way possible because you spent a few minutes of your life doing something simple.
Want in? Get the wallet out, it's gonna be expensive.
Nah, just kidding, they're only £9.97 for two stickers or £19.97 for five and you can share them with friends and family too. You can even update your details on them for free. Bargain.
For less than the price of two pints in a London pub you could one day save your own life.
Right, think I've said enough, I'll get myself back to the future.
Until next time, stay safe out there pal.